First things first...or next, whichever. (Post No.1, of the Bariatric Surgery posts)

Lot's on my mind.

Today I had my first appointment with my bariatric surgeon. Lots of things I have to do, and about 6 or 7 months before my actual surgery.

I know several people who have had a bariatric surgery, either Roux-En-Y (RNY), or Gastric Sleeve. For all who want to know, I have elected to go with Roux-En-Y, also known as Gastric Bypass. I have been researching this for many years and weighed the pros and cons of both types. I know myself, and know that the sleeve will not be as successful of a procedure for me. Now that we have that out of the way, let's get on with the 'blogging my journey' portion of this post.

First, why do people say they are going to blog their journey, but only start after the surgery? After their first "After" picture? A large amount of the people I know who have had the surgery have not told many people till just a few days before surgery. My theory is that they aren't sure of everyones reactions and are not sure they want to hear the negativity. I get it. I don't want to either, but I'm not afraid to, because I'm confidant in what I am choosing to do. It's what is best for me, and my future.

Second, why is everyones "before" pics always some blurry, bairly recognizable snap shot, or a mugshot like hotmess, makeup free, sallow skinned, sad, sad, mad, poorly lit picture in front of a wall in their bedroom? Again, I get it. It's because no one wants to have someone take their pic in all their fat glory. 

Well, I won't be doing either. As you can see, I'm blogging now. As for the pic. The next time I have a chance to take a cute pic for you that shows my current size, I will.

So, what brought me here... let's tell that part of the story:

If you read my blog, you'll see that I have had weight issues all my life. You would also read about my Graves Disease and subsequent thyroid issues. The surgery isn't a new desire for me, It's been 12 years in the making. Two people I know had the surgery done back then, and because of them I have two great examples of the best case scenario and worst case scenario of RNY. Sis, she had the surgery, and despite initial procedure issues she has done fabulous. Even had 3 kids and got back down to her goal weight. Cole, she had the surgery, got to her goal weight but freely admits she did a lot to sabotage herself. She also suffered what is known as "addiction displacement" and fell into a destructive cycle that nearly ruined her, her life, and our friendship. We're back on track and thankfully, so is she. Still, I have two people to be the example of what and what not to do.

In summer 2011 (stop me...er.. skip ahead if you know this story) we took the kiddos to Hershey Park. If you don't know already, I have pretty good self esteem. Pretty solid on who I am and happy with how I look. I may be chubby, but I'm HOT in a curvy sexy way that is all me. Anyway, I knew there would be rides I would not fit on. No problem.. just don't ride a lot. We went through the whole day with no problems. Even surprised myself and got to ride a few rides I was sure I wouldn't be able to. On one of the last few rides, the bar wouldn't lock. I laughed, got on out of the car and made my way to the other side of the ride platform. All of our crew were on the ride, I was the only one not riding. I wasn't bothered and hoped no one else was for me. I turned around to watch them as they finished loading, when I saw Peaches look at me and say "I have to ride alone?" It happened that she didn't, our friend rode with her, but... wow... that moment. I saw my daughter face my weight in a negative way for the first time. She never cared that I was squishy as she called it, loved me anyway. That moment though, I saw her left alone because of my weight. Something that would be the story of her life if I didn't figure out how to get healthy. That night I told Hubs (he was still Fubs back then) that I would be having the surgery as soon as I could work it out. So, the next four years have been some successes and lots of failures in that regard. Some weight loss, some gain. I had insurance, then I didn't, then I did. Then Magoo needed braces, so we couldn't do it last year. Well... this is my year. And it starts today.

It'll be a long process. Lots of appointments, work outs, tests, etc... I'm anticipating few issues, since I'm commited to this. Just need to slog through it all!

That's it for now. I will post more as I meet with the nutritionist, start working out, cut out soda (again), and generally do this journey. Thanks for reading and please! Comment, share, whatevs.. let's talk!