New friends.

Well, sort of. One of my first friends here in Pennsyltuckey. Denise - very nice, wasn't sure about her at first but now I see she could totally be a good friend. She gave us a ride to soccer today (Our cars, Rusty and Goldie, are both in the shop).
And we had a great time just chatting and laughing. I am excited.

Friends are few and far between for me. Fubs is my best friend, then my parents, my niece, then a small group of life long friends follows. I RARELY include new people into my circle. Which is funny since I am completely gregarious and outgoing... but I don't let people in... ya know?

Sure, I might let you in a bit - and let you know a lot about me, but most of it you will find describes parts of me that I have outgrown or am no longer having issues with. Anyway - it's hard to explain, I will get back to that another time.

For now I gotta go snuggle with Peaches before bedtime. Night yall!

When your mood sucks...

It makes my mood suck too. Sorry hunni, I just wish you could get out of this funk you are in.

Seriously FauxHubs' (let's shorten that to Fubs, Shall we?), Fubs' bad mood makes me feel all cruppy and stuff too. I wanna be whiney and pouty. Not that it would help any, because he really has every right to be in a sad/bad mood. His Nana passed last week after suffering from Alzheimer's for many many years. Our jobs are not doing what we need them to do financially, and of course he bears the brunt of it, and... he can just only take so much.

So he lays in his bed and plays on his laptop and watches TV for HOURS ON END.

Gets very depressing.

Holiday Meals

I think I did well today. I had:
Ham
SMALL amount of Mustard Potato salad
3 mini-dinner rolls w/butter
Frito's w/vegetarian chili and shredded cheese and sour cream
Cottage Cheese Salad (About a whole cups worth, maybe more cuz I LOVE LOVE the stuff)
1/2 a small slice of some really rich cake thing, and one bite of homemade key-lime pie.
I was never stuffed, or even full really - just satisfied, and still satisfied, 8 hrs later! Not sure if I will eat more now or not since it's so late and I haven't snacked after 8 PM in 3 days... hmmm...

COTTAGE CHEESE SALAD
1 large container of Cool Whip
2 medium containers of Cottage Cheese
2 packages of Jello (any flavor)
1 or 2 cans of Fruit (your choice!)

Mix!

I like Lime Jello w/Crushed and Chunk Pineapple. My Dad likes Orange Jello with Peaches or Mandarin Oranges. My Mom likes Cherry Jello with Fruit Cocktail. It's up to you!

Weight Down!!!!!!

Yup - down 5 lbs according to the doc's scale. But - my blood pressure is up again. I attribute that to being at work again. I really am not meant to be a working mom. I'm supposed to be a stay at home mom. I stress so much about money. I should just never have to worry about anything but my dishes and laundry and dusting and making sure my family is fed.

That is my dream. To have enough money one day that I can stay at home and not work. So - until that day comes... I work.

I don't have much else to say today. Weekends seem to be pretty drama free for us, and relaxed. We're decorating EASTER EGGS TODAY! WooHoo!! Picture Op anyone?

I can over eat... forget over blog...

I didn't! over eat that is. We just had yummy steak and potatoes and gravy and peas. I ATE ALL MY PEAS MOM! (I hate peas). This week also saw the re-introduction of Navy Beans to my palette. It has been decades since I have had them, and never forevers since I wanted them - so...shocking, I craved them and now love them.. in small amounts.

I am definitly being more active... even though my knee protests vociferously. Hopefully I can get the poundage down... I actually have wedding to be in, in August. Ughh...

Right now I am ready for bed and fighting the munchies. I actually need to get up from this deathboard (my computer desk) and just go to bed before I eat...especially since my deathboard is in the kitchen.

Night yall!

Can you over blog?

I'm just curious.. I mean - does anyone really want to read a daily account of other people's stuff? Who has time for that!?

I myself must because I follow several blogs. They make me chuckle, they make me sigh, they make me fat. It's their fault... d@mn recipe guru's..

OK. that's all for today, except one thing... have you Stumbled today? (www.stumbleupon.com)

Meds! 4 times out 5 days!...

Really? I only missed one day, which is a bit miraculous. I'm impressed.
I still feel like crap, and still will for awhile... but that is life I guess.

I wanna talk a minute about Grave's Disease. I had never heard of it before I was diagnosed with it, and was scared as I am sure many people are. In the long run I was glad to finally understand why I was always disoriented yet hyper aware, fatigued yet sleepless, starving all the time even though I just ate, and many many other contradictions and ailments. The adrenaline rushes and the panic attacks were horrendous. I truly could go from Normal to Psycho in 0.02 seconds. I was depressed, but never manic. I thought I was losing my mind. I can't say that enough, or explain it in any more accurate terms. I was convinced I was just days away from being admitted.

Why would a disease cause so much? It's a thyroid condition! The Thyroid regulates SO MUCH in our body and you never even know til something goes wrong! As a Grave's sufferer you have a Hyper-Thyroid. The exact opposite of the more commonly know Hashimoto's Disease or Hypo-Thyroid. Instead of fatigue and an inability to wake up, you are fatigued and exhausted and your body constantly seems as if it is running a marathon, so it's impossible to sleep. Insomniac? I could keep up with the worst of them. Restless Leg Syndrome? Yup. TMJ? of course! My resting heart rate was 90 beats per minute people!!!! What sucked was here I was with a super mega-fast metabolism, but all I could do was eat... I couldn't even diet because I was so tired I carb-loaded and sugar-hyped and caffeine-guzzled just to function for my 3 yr old Mini-Me.

Walking through the store I might have to stop and re-balance myself and just wait for the adrenaline rush to subside, or leave a cart because I would be so suddenly incapable of pushing it from fatigue. It was awful really, just horrible. Also, it was making an already difficult marriage much worse because I couldn't be rational, and do what needed to be done (ending it) and his drug and alcohol use made it impossible for him to comprehend any of what I was going through. In fact - the day before my scheduled thyroid radiation treatment, we fought. It got physical, and I ended up having to call 911. That was the last day we ever spent in a house together. 6 months later, my thyroid was really and truly dead, and I was working on building up my synthetic thyroid dosage. We have it about right now, I just need to remember to take it!

I guess that is all for today - a bit more serious I think, but... I wanted to address it.

Have a great day! Thanks for reading.

stupid phone

Uhmmm... this was supposed to be a blog from my phone - not sure what happened. Not even sure I remember what i was supposed to be blogging. I think it involved going all leaky roof on someone and 100 proof black label Captain Morgan's... not so clear on this one!

Why? When all the other crap is so much fun to deal with!?

First - my advice to two young marrieds I know who are separated and divorcing.. geezus, merry, and wycleff... can't yall keep it off Facebook? People are losing JOBS because of the things they say flippantly and in good fun on that thing. Here you are trashing each other for all the world and YOUR GRANDPARENTS to see! Where's your lawyers kids? At least they should know better...

Whew - just had to get that off my considerable chest. NEXT!!! Hunni - really? You wanna pick on her saying "I know" all the time? There is so much more we have to deal with, and I'm really trying hard to not get pissed off about you saying "I know, and the list is getting longer".

edit: yes - I know I just did what I just advised my young friends against doing...but I'm allowed because this is a BLOG... and even if you figure out who I am (or know right away cuz I didn't try real hard to hide it), I'm going to say "It's not the same thing". And blithely go on about my day as if I didn't just basically say my hunni was being a douche tonight. He isn't usually and he has earned a ton of panty points for those times when he is..so it's OK.

OK, I'm better now. Let's see...
Today I ate: A bowl of cereal, three, two and a half No-Bake Cookies (I dropped half of one and couldn't reach the floor board to get it because my jeans are too tight), a hot dog, and french fries, more Dr. Pepper. I love this diet - if only it worked....

Up and Down...

Today had a few (no I did not have "a few"...anything! the day had some ups and downs!)... My knee hurts. seems I might have to be more diligent about taking my thyroid meds because it affects joints...huh.. oh! and the migraine's are back, whoops!

I'm such a mess. But I have been busy ALL day and here is what I ate because of it: Double Bacon thingie at BK w/fries and a Coke. About 3 oz. baked chicken w/BBQ sauce, some green beans, and a little noodles (chicken&broccoli:::shudder::). And a Dr. Pepper. Terrible. I walked a bit though.. in boots.. for work.. it sucked.. but I got a sale.. woohoo a paycheck comes!

Then I got in a fender bender. I wasn't driving, Mr. Always Right was. But the fender bender really was my fault since I am the one who pointed out the mural on the derelict building next to us was not anonymously painted it was tagged by someone named _©hris_ . Hence the turn of FauxHubs head...and the crashing of bumpers with MY car. grrrr.... but of course, it was worth it to prove (Yet UhGain!!) who is really always right)

Oh - I should intro you to FauxHubs, aka Mr. Always Right. He's my hunni. He's my luverrrr. He's my college buddy-whom-I-never-did-more-than-kiss-because-hewasacheerleaderguyandthosegirlswerewaycoolerthanIwas. ::whew:: We found each other on...drumroll please.... yup! you guessed it! FACEBOOK! about 2 yrs ago. I'll tell that story Uhnother day!

Ok, sleep sweet kiddies...

Hmmm... 2 posts in one day. I hope it's not a trend...

Diet? not so much... back on Meds? Well, I picked them up, does that count? By the way I am on thyroid medication - or I'm supposed to be but I suck at staying with it. It's 4 weeks since my last dose. The blood test I did that week is great though so I had my #'s in order 4 weeks ago. But I guess that is why I jumped 15 lbs from my last Dr. visit, eh? Oh... yeah - I have Grave's Disease. My thyroid was eradicated by irradiated iodine in May of 2007. Hence the worst of my weight struggles.. my fault of course - I never remember my meds, remember?

So the other thing weighing in is that Mini-Me was written up today for pushing someone else at recess today. Not the first time she has hurt other kids, from what I understand... I'm baffled. I'm confused. I want to shake a tree, I'm so pissed. SHE KNOWS BETTER. What is turning my baby into a monster? What do I do?

I guess I don't care?

I was informed of this today - seems I don't care. Well, Eff U. I do. And what I do care about is so much more than you were referring to.

 So let's just discuss the weight. I care about mine, I care about yours, and I care about hers (her being Princess Peaches Puddin Head, aka Mini-Me). At 7 yrs old I shouldn't have to worry about hers - but I do... because the slippery slope is steep and long. I intend that she will know more about health and nutrition in her little head then anyone could ever imagine. Mostly she will never, and has never heard me rip myself up for being overweight. She knows I understand I am overweight and she knows I am worried about it. She knows this because we have talked about HEALTH. Never looks. Mommy is loving herself enough to do better, and teaching Peaches better because of how much I love her. Did I mention we don't discuss it from a body/beauty image? It's not about image... it's about being the best YOU.

This is what I choose to focus on and care about today. Not that other crap.

Weight Loss Rule #1

Draw your line in the sand!

... I've done it a million times. I've said "This is it" or "This is the fattest I will ever be"
I lie to myself a lot...

So here I am UhGain... fatter (I know it's not a real word, but I'm attempting to be all "look at me I'm a cool a$$ blogger") then I've ever been... and determined to do something this time.  I will do it with humor, perseverance, a bit of failure and set back for flavor, and I will Eat and Leave the Food Alone!

I will also not be hounding my friends and family to follow my blog - infact, I probably will hope they don't. How else can I say things I probably don't want them to know?

From time to time I will throw out some biblical truths, and some crappy advice and even the occasional swear word (di$gu!s#d 0f c*^rse) and I might even rain on someone else's parade. Or bring a little merry sunshine in - who knows? ::shrugs:: I will post pics as often as I take them - and weights as often as I get them - and maybe even an exercise note or two - I really don't know...

But as I said... and my family will understand... I will "Eat and Leave the Food Alone"