My GrandpaT always said at nearly every meal to at least one of us grandkids "Why don't you eat and leave the food alone?" Which, to a 5 yr old, is pretty confusing. I think I have it figured out, but don't tell my family. We all believe what we want about Grandpa's words of wisdom on just about everything in the world.
For me, I will simply say - it makes me wonder what in the world I really have eaten myself into...

Monday, April 18, 2011

Meds! 4 times out 5 days!...

Really? I only missed one day, which is a bit miraculous. I'm impressed.
I still feel like crap, and still will for awhile... but that is life I guess.

I wanna talk a minute about Grave's Disease. I had never heard of it before I was diagnosed with it, and was scared as I am sure many people are. In the long run I was glad to finally understand why I was always disoriented yet hyper aware, fatigued yet sleepless, starving all the time even though I just ate, and many many other contradictions and ailments. The adrenaline rushes and the panic attacks were horrendous. I truly could go from Normal to Psycho in 0.02 seconds. I was depressed, but never manic. I thought I was losing my mind. I can't say that enough, or explain it in any more accurate terms. I was convinced I was just days away from being admitted.

Why would a disease cause so much? It's a thyroid condition! The Thyroid regulates SO MUCH in our body and you never even know til something goes wrong! As a Grave's sufferer you have a Hyper-Thyroid. The exact opposite of the more commonly know Hashimoto's Disease or Hypo-Thyroid. Instead of fatigue and an inability to wake up, you are fatigued and exhausted and your body constantly seems as if it is running a marathon, so it's impossible to sleep. Insomniac? I could keep up with the worst of them. Restless Leg Syndrome? Yup. TMJ? of course! My resting heart rate was 90 beats per minute people!!!! What sucked was here I was with a super mega-fast metabolism, but all I could do was eat... I couldn't even diet because I was so tired I carb-loaded and sugar-hyped and caffeine-guzzled just to function for my 3 yr old Mini-Me.

Walking through the store I might have to stop and re-balance myself and just wait for the adrenaline rush to subside, or leave a cart because I would be so suddenly incapable of pushing it from fatigue. It was awful really, just horrible. Also, it was making an already difficult marriage much worse because I couldn't be rational, and do what needed to be done (ending it) and his drug and alcohol use made it impossible for him to comprehend any of what I was going through. In fact - the day before my scheduled thyroid radiation treatment, we fought. It got physical, and I ended up having to call 911. That was the last day we ever spent in a house together. 6 months later, my thyroid was really and truly dead, and I was working on building up my synthetic thyroid dosage. We have it about right now, I just need to remember to take it!

I guess that is all for today - a bit more serious I think, but... I wanted to address it.

Have a great day! Thanks for reading.

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